invictus_heart

Last week I was feeling terribly sad..

But each day I am getting better now because of my friends *thanks bes2*

I am back to myself and ready to go

…except for one

To Someone I Know,

This came really unexpected – that even I, myself, can no longer explain. And for the past weeks, its been so hard for me. Simply because I cannot show you what I really want, what I really feel.

Dom never failed to tell me that I am such a loser because I always think of other. But when I think about myself I find my own asking, “whats the difference between saying and not saying what I feel? Hindi rin naman makakaapekto sayo…”

I am having a hard time. Dealing with you. With myself. With everything. I wish I can turn back the time… that day when I first saw you years ago. When I first notice how this nameless face seem to register in me. I am one heck of a dumb, yes, but I guess I was able to injure those years because I know I can never have you.

I cannot do anything for you except watch you from the distant

And see how you enjoy the company of others

Iiwasan kita hanggang sa mga susunod na panahon

Hanggat sa kaya ko

Hanggat hindi pa dumarating yung panahong huling beses na tayong magkikita

At siguro, iiwas ka na rin…

Hindi ko alam

Ayoko lang maging selfish… kasi may masasaktan….

At hindi rin naman ako tanga para maintindihan na wala rin namang patutunguhan ang lahat

Magiging masaya na lang ako para sayo

Pero

sana

kung iiwasan mo ako, yung wala nang balikan

Yung hindi mo na ipararamdam na nag-aalala ka pa

Kasi mas lalo akong naguguluhan

Mas lalo akong nasasaktan

Kasi alam kong maya- maya lang

Hindi na naman tayo mag-uusap

Hindi magpapansinan

Tutuloy lang ang buhay na parang wala lang…

…kasi wala naman talaga

Nalulungkot lang ako

Kasi mahalaga ka sa akin

At naiintindihan kong simula ngayon

Simula bukas…

Hindi na magiging ganun

Kasi alam kong lilipas din ang mga araw

Na balewala lang sayo ang lahat

Saya diba?

Matatapos tayo…tapos na.

Ganun lang.

Someday, “dating kakilala” na lang ang term natin sa isat isa

Siguro tama na

Kasi pag tumagal pa… bka di ko na mabawi lahat ng nawala….

Slamat sa lahat ha?

At mahal na mahal kita….

-she-

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 13th, 2008 at 11:18 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.